Nelson Hopkins

Tonight Teen Talk sat in near silence listening as Nelson Hopkins told the story of his son's brutal murder on Dec. 1, 2009. Just days before his 18th birthday, Nelson Hopkins Jr.'s life was taken too soon.

"I never want someone else to feel the pain I felt when my son was murdered," says Hopkins while discussing what it means to be a snitch and what it means to be a witness to a crime.

These words will resonate with me for the rest of my life, and I hope that the teens of Teen Talk will also consider these words for the rest of theirs when they refuse to snitch or be a witness to a crime.

Also, another point that Nelson brought up several times was the addiction to the streets. Nelson said, "There are all these people sitting around thinking of how they're going to take all the money in the world, and they're doing it while we fight over the crumbs and control the streets."
Are the streets worth giving up your success to someone else?

He also said, "We've got white people running the world while we're playing games."

YOU GUYS DESERVE BETTER. You just have to work for it. I don't have faith in much, but I have faith in all of you. Be the change. Don't let this statement be true anymore, "They own the world, we own the streets. You're giving your money away to them like you're a slave."

Now that several of you have found this blog, I am going to leave the rest of the discussion up to you. Please comment anonymously or as yourself, whatever you feel more comfortable doing. Respect each other though, please.
(I have put a link with this blog to the story of Nelson Hopkins' son and his cousin (who was also murdered early this year), and Nelson Hopkins' program Operation Promise Land.

Pursuit of Happiness

Teen Talk had a meeting about rape and sexual assault yesterday.  The guest speaker from MOCSA gave statistics, advice and posed scenarios of rape to the teens.  The two most important items MOCSA says is 1. It is NEVER the victims fault and 2. It is about control and power for the rapist.

• One in four women will be sexually abused in their lifetime
• One in seven men will be sexually abused in their lifetime
• 1 in 8 women have been raped
• A rape is reported in the greater Kansas City area every other day. Only 16% of all rapes are ever reported
• Over 80% of sexual violence is committed by someone the victim knows, not by a stranger
• Children, young women ages 15-25 and persons with developmental disabilities are the most frequent victims of sexual violence

This information is available at http://mocsa.org

One of the situations the speaker presented last night's youth with was a young woman, impairing her ability to think clearly because she had been drinking and was therefore raped.  A large number of teens spoke out saying the woman who had been drinking was at fault for being raped.  I woke up thinking about what the teens were saying that she wasn't using common sense and should have known better, and I wondered how they could think that anyone deserves to be raped.  I want to quote the Declaration of Independence as it seems most applicable in this situation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government (PERSON) becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it.... laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness..and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. ...

A Smile is 100 times Prettier than a Snarl

Last night the group spoke about ways to stop the cycle of gang affiliation and gang violence and the consequences of involving yourselves and your children in the lifestyle.  Many of the members said it's a mindset and at a young age they are brainwashed to believe the actions supporting the gangs are the right actions to take.

We discussed how participating in the gangs could effect future goals and dreams the teens have, and how it could negatively effect the lives of their future children.  Many of the young people mentioned they will get out of the gangs when they want to, and when they move on to college.  I asked how their record could stop them from fulfilling their dreams.  While I meant the question to be rhetorical to those who have a record, many other young people mentioned their friends won't be able to move on as they wish.

We began discussing the generations younger, and how to prevent these children from being a part of the gang lifestyle.  Too many young people said it is impossible, that the parents and therefore their children will always be a part of gangs because that is the lifestyle they have lived in their whole lives.  They mentioned babies- babies as young as 2, as old as 8- "playing" like they were in a gang.  Babies saying they want to kill someone to know what it's like.  These babies are our future, everyone in the community's future, and they are being thrown into a lifestyle that will strip them of their baby years.  But the young people said this is the life they are brought into and it's impossible to change it.

I disagree, I emphatically disagree.  We are who we want to be, if we want to change, we can do it.  If we want to break the cycle bad enough, we can do it.  If you want to stop this lifestyle at your youth, your youth that was unfairly taken away from you, you can do it.  As I said last night, my five year old is a little girl, she is not five going on 15.  My efforts to keep her a baby are why she is not five going on 15.  Everyone that is surrounded by gangs, that is in the life now, has the ability to change with themselves, and therefore change with their babies.

How many people truly enjoy the stress of a gang lifestyle, how many people want to spend night after night worrying about what someone says about you, and how you have to go and set them straight?  Life is more enjoyable when arguing and anger are nearly non-existent.  But, our babies will not know that life is easier without violence unless we stop it.

Stop yelling at each other, stop hitting each other, stop shooting each other, stop threatening each other.  And STOP doing all of it to your babies; stop yelling at them, stop hitting them, stop teaching them that it's fun to kill someone.  It's unhealthy to treat them like your friends, it's unhealthy to teach them to behave violently, it's detrimental to the community, to your babies, and to yourself to continue this cycle.

I want to know, how can we help you to find other ways to talk to your children, to care for your children, to play with your children and to punish your children.  And how can we help you help your friends see there is a better life off of the streets.

Higher Education

Tonight I heard a number of the young people talking about higher education and reasons they are not wanting to go to college or are unable to go to college. One of the reasons was the cost of living and attending college is too high, and the benefits of a college education are too distant for these teens to notice. 

I want to help the teens get the information necessary to make them reconsider a higher education, whether it be a 2 year or 4 year college, votech/trade school, etc.  Advanced education is a foundation for success.  Every day things can be taken from us, we may lose a loved one, we may have our purse/wallet stolen, our identity stolen, we may lose confidence in a friend.  Education can never be taken away, no one can go inside our brains and delete the knowledge we have put there.  Tonight, when Miss Colleen asked the teens why they came to the meetings, more than one person said the knowledge they gained is what brought them back.  These teens know that information given to them is in their minds as long as they want to remember it.  The same goes for a higher education.

If the reason against attending higher education is money, then the knowledge I would like to provide is information on grants, loans, and scholarships.  The last thing graduating students should worry about is the expenses they will incur during college.  The income they will receive following college, the possibilities they will have following college, the assistance they can receive- from the government, from other corporations and organizations- during and after college can be endless if they work hard enough at their program.

I added a link connecting to the Free Application for Student Aid (FAFSA).  Students can complete this form and find out what types of loans and grants they qualify for.  The application walks applicants through the secure sight and sends the notice to the school(s) of their choice what amount they will be awarded. 

Another concern high school graduates sometimes have is lack of interest in school.  This is an issue that is more difficult to address.  One option is to consider a trade school, such as construction- electrical, carpentry, plumbing, automotive, cosmetology, massage therapy, etc.  These schools usually do not require as many years to attend, and are coupled with education of the field, and work experience while attending the school.  The ability to attend school while living at home sometimes relieves the stress of school expenses. 

Another consideration soon-to-be high school graduates need to have is the amount of lifetime earnings.  With a degree or trade school education, the income a person makes is greatly increased.  The information below, discussing the income is available at http://www.trade-schools-search.com/trade-schools-search-careers.html

• Did you know that the average “lifetime” earnings of a person with a 4 year trade school degrees is about $1,000,000 more than the earnings of a high school graduate; $800,000 more than a person with an AA degree?
• Did you know that earning your Masters Degree increases your lifetime earnings by about $500,000?
• And, an Associate Degree will provide an additional $300,000 more than the high school graduate! 

While school itself is an expense, it is a valuable expense.  The skills, education and often experience gained in school are paramount to the time and money spent at school.  Hopefully with this information, our youth, nationwide, that are leery of spending their time and money on themselves and their education will reconsider their reasons.

Teen Talk Volunteers

Thank you everyone for helping out, donating and serving at the spaghetti dinner for Haiti Relief on Friday January 26th.  The event was a great success and we hope that the donations earned assist those in Haiti. 

The disaster caused by the Haiti earthquake, and the pain and struggles of Haitians is an important lesson for our youth.  Beyond the earthquake, Haitians are in need of our help financially.  We hope that the attention brought to our neighbors to the south helps improve the difficulties they endure day in and day out. (Photo courtesy of Cricket Blog)

A new project we are considering in May is to join the Start! Heart Walk.  Start! Heart Walk is the American Heart Association annual walk to earn money for research and prevention of America's number one and number three killers, heart disease and stroke respectively.

Each year over 600 thousand men and women are diagnosed with heart disease with a monumental 5.8 million people suffering heart failure nationwide (CDC).  Within one year over one million men and women in America will have a heart attack (CDC).

Getting our teens walking will be a great way to promote physical activity, which is a start in the right direction to a healthy heart.  Along with their own heart health, having the teens talk with friends, family, and the community about assisting them with the walk will improve the health and knowledge of heart disease and stroke in our community. 

Michelle Obama has been reported to announce her work with preventing childhood obesity, a preventable cause of heart failure.  Teen Talk will have the opportunity to learn more about the causes, effects and preventative measures they can take and help their families and friends take by joining in this cause with the American Heart Association and Mrs. Obama's cause.  We hope to get the teens involved, and support from the community as we put their hearts first.

Teen Watch and Teen Talk

Teen Watch has joined with a local group called Teen Talk.  Teen Talk is based out of the Front Porch Alliance off of Michigan Avenue in Kansas City, Mo.  This merger is very exciting for the teens of Teen Watch because of the new opportunities that will come from Teen Talk's already established name!  The meetings will continue to be held on Wednesday's, we will meet at 5:00 instead of 6 p.m. and will be meeting at the Front Porch Alliance building.

As we work on this joining we will update you all with new information.  We hope to continue to see you at the meetings and hope that this will add value to the group and opportunities available to you!  Everything we do, we do for you!

Visit the Front Porch Alliance website to learn more about their organization at: Front Porch Alliance homepage

Thanksgiving

Last meeting was great! We took a break for Thanksgiving week, but the meeting before was extra special. For Thanksgiving, Teen Watch members brought delicious dishes and made “thankful” hats featuring their own drawings, phrases, quotes or comments of what they are thankful for and festive fall leaves. Throughout the evening the teens inspired each other to consider what was important to them and why. Listening to each other talk about the importance of family and friends, or the importance of their religion or education brought forth quite a few topics of discussion. Watching the members interact, Teen Watch will be hosting a “Rap Session” offering time for the teens to vent frustrations, talk about what they need from Teen Watch to develop their lives and the kinds of speakers they would like to hear from for inspiration.

Coming back after our break Teen Watch is having its first Rap Session, offering the members to speak out about their concerns, issues, and needs and wants they would like to be addressed in future meetings. Teen Watch wants our teens to discuss future goals and plans they may have, how they intend to reach these goals and what help they would like to reach their goal and continue achieving more goals. We would also like to hear of concerns from the teens, as many of our teens know; there have been quite a few serious issues in the community with violence targeted at our youth. Teen Watch wants to speak about the feelings our teens are having concerning these issues, and how it has made you change your behavior. Of course we would like the teens to be off the cuff in this conversation and talk about what they feel and see that is affecting their lives whether it is positive or negative. After this session we hope to cater future meetings to these issues and needs our teens talk about.

NOVEMBER 4th

Teen Watch has it's first meeting scheduled!!  November 4th, 6:30 p.m. at Oakgrove Missionary Baptist Church we want to meet YOU.  If you are looking to change your life, improve your situation,  become a positive influence for other teens, this meeting and group is for you!

We are not here to turn anyone down for any reason, we want to help those who WANT to be helped!  Teen Watch is for all the Teen's in Kansas City's benefit; however, there will be restrictions and guidelines.  We want you to come to the first meeting and talk with us one-on-one (we will take appointments before and after the meeting) about your situation so we may assist you in making the meetings and get togethers and answer any of your concerns about how to get to the meeting and if you have other priorities that may conflict with our meetings.  We will find a way to work with you, but you MUST be willing to work with us!  Our main goal is to help those who want our help.  If you aren't ready for our help right now, speak with us and we will figure out what you need, and how you can help us help you.

The first meeting will be a get to know you and each-other session.  Every teen will be required to fill out an index card with their name, phone numbers and address, e-mail address, facebook name, guardian contact information, etc.  This will be used for our office only- we will use these cards: if you need a ride to the meeting, if we need to contact you, etc, we need this record to be up to date at all times.  You will be given OUR contact info as well, including phone numbers, facebook information, the blogger and twitter site addresses, etc.  We want you to join, fan, follow our pages so we can keep you up to date through as many avenues as possible.  We will take your membership case by case; but, the library is accessible to everyone, our e-mail and pages are essential to Teen Watch.  We will also provide a code of conduct we expect you to follow in the meetings, the gatherings and on your own personal time.  If we do not motivate you to improve your personal life, we are not doing our job.  We want what is best for you, in all aspects of your life.  We hope to hear positive changes that have happened in your life through your involvement with Teen Watch, the only way that can happen is if you accept us into every aspect of your life. 

Do not be intimidated by our rules, our code of conduct or our expectations.  We want what is best for you, and we want to be part of your lives.  We want to be the change you can believe in.  The only way we can be your change, is if you let us.

We believe in you, do you believe in yourself?

See you soon,

Carmen Edwards and team, Teen Watch

Welcome to Teen Watch

Teen Watch is a new group in Kansas City created and developed by Carmen Edwards. The group is focusing it's events and plans for teens; however, young adults up to 21 are invited to participate and assistance will be provided to those who need it.

The goals of Teen Watch are, first and foremost, to bring a positive atmosphere and build and maintain successful relationships to teens. We strive to teach teens how to be successful, positive and ethical. Teen Watch hopes to do this by offering unbiased information, non-judgmental support, anonymity to those who need it, and fun and safe activities to keep teens out of the negative environments that are becoming prominent in the community. By effectively turning teens into leaders, we hope they will leave the program and help others through example and positive peer influence.

We have outlined our first meeting as focusing on introductions and getting the word out about the program. Teen Watch encourages you to invite, motivate and inform friends and family about the group.

We have a few ideas for discussion topics for the second meeting but would like to hear from the group on information, subject matter and speakers they would like to hear from.

The date and time of the first meeting will be announced shortly as well as the location. We are completing the finishing details and hope to bring to you what you deserve. See you soon!

(Picture is not of future Teen Watch location)